On 14 August, South Wales Police prevented a national disaster by the skin of their teeth. Against all odds, a force of just a few hundred officers, supported only by riot vans, helicopters, horses and dogs, broke up a camp of some 25 hardened environmentalists, many (one) sporting dreadlocks.
A spokesman for South Wales Police, chief constable “Nick-Nick” Crafty, said: “It is unbelievable what these enviro-MENTALISTS were up to. They had driven tent-pegs into the ground on the site of this ancient Roman fort! This site is normally only used by agricultural machinery, four-wheel drive tractors, combine-harvesters and the like. This is a national monument. We must preserve our heritage for future generations.”
The so-called “Climate Camp Cymru” pitched up at Coelbren in the Vale of Neath claiming they were protesting about Selar and Nant-Helen, nearby opencast coalmines.
Immediately before the camp, 13 Rising Tide protesters, who last year literally put their necks on the line to stop coal being transported by train to Aberthaw power-station from Ffos-Y-Frân open-cast mine, were given an unconditional discharge at Merthyr Crown Court.
For Miller Argent, the company mining Ffos-Y-Frân, managing defective James T Kirk said: “Compared to the size of hole made by a tent-peg, opencast mining is insignificant in landscape and heritage terms – we’re extracting a mere 11 million tonnes of coal, producing a paltry 30 million tonnes of carbon dioxide. Even if these protesters are right that climate change threatens the lives of future generations here in Wales, at least we want our dead children to be able to visit Roman forts. I never owned a tent. It was blue.”
At Coelbren, chief constable Crafty said he was sure the taxpayer would be extremely happy with the way the police operation had been conducted “in these challenging economic times”. Climate Camp Cymru reported the camp had moved to another site and would continue with their programme of workshops on sustainable living.
A spokesperson heartily thanked the police for doing their duty and serving the public interest rather than vested corporate interests, saying: “Proportionate policing my coal-covered arse.”